Transitions

My 89 yr old Grandad!Yesterday my grandfather went home for the first time after months in the hospital. I can’t tell you how happy that makes me. After his fall and brain bleed he was so confused, so unable to communicate at times, I just thought the man I knew might be gone.

But now talking to him on the phone daily, he sounds like himself again. He’s able to remember all the details of his bank accounts and retirement funds, the bills that were due that I paid for him. He can tell me exactly who visited him, which home health aide spent the night, and when his next scheduled CT scan is. That 92 year old brain of his can run circles around most 25 year olds.

Physically though, he is still very weak. Months of sitting around are hard to recover from and he needs help with every small step he takes. Fortunately he has that help, he’s just learning to rely on it more.

I can sometimes hear in his voice the sadness and frustration over losing his independence. It breaks my heart, but I try hard to encourage him. I tell him over and over how much progress he has made in the past couple weeks. It seems to help.

He was super nervous about coming home and how he would function, but this morning he told me he had a shower for the first time in a long time and it felt great. I promised to keep on top of his financial situation and he seemed happy with that.

We had their mail forwarded to us for the past couple months. The bills associated with two houses and a ton of doctors are crazy. But even crazier are the requests for money, which come because my grandparents usually give them all something. The craziest part though? The magazines.

My grandparents have 75 magazine subscriptions. Many of them weekly. I do not exaggerate. That does not count catalogs. No, they can’t possibly read them all. Even though most interest me, I cannot possibly read even a small fraction of them. It’s ridiculous.

The next step is getting them back here to their home in Houston. Their return tickets are for the end of October but I don’t want them to wait that long. Something could happen and we’d be back at square one with thousands of miles between us still. I may have to fly up and escort them home, I’ll do that if I have to.

Then hopefully I can help them move. Home health care is crazy expensive. Right now with around the clock care it’s about $15,000 a month. No I’m not kidding. Even the most luxurious assisted living place, which I visited today, is more like $8000 a month.

The place I visited today is super nice and a mile from my house. Almost TOO close, but at this point any place they are willing to go is fine by me. I stopped by on a whim for some info and explained our situation to the young saleswoman there. She was beyond compassionate. She could see the strain of the past few months on my face and in my voice. She was the first person I had spoken to in a long time that REALLY got it, how hard it is.

Baby steps. That bridge is coming and I am praying they will cross it willingly. I’m just so glad he’s still here, and home again.

Author: Sarah

Mom of three. Triathlete.

8 thoughts on “Transitions”

  1. I’m glad he’s home and doing ok. We are in the same place with my grandparents but my grandmother is the alert one and she is so mad at loosing her independence and is taking it out on people. I’m sure she’s just in a stage of grief but it’s still been hard for us all, as you know. Hopefully you can get him back to houston soon! 

  2. I’m glad he’s home and doing ok. We are in the same place with my grandparents but my grandmother is the alert one and she is so mad at loosing her independence and is taking it out on people. I’m sure she’s just in a stage of grief but it’s still been hard for us all, as you know. Hopefully you can get him back to houston soon! 

  3. Oh Sarah. I am glad your grandfather is doing so much better, and I am amazed by all you’ve done and continue to do with and for them. So much love. Your boys will benefit in immeasurable ways by watching how you care for an older generation. We recently went through a great deal of this with Ryan’s granny, so if you need any thoughts/input on care facilities in our area, let me know. (Granny lived at Carriage Inn for a number of years, and then over at Colonial Oaks for her last four months of life.)

  4. Oh Sarah. I am glad your grandfather is doing so much better, and I am amazed by all you’ve done and continue to do with and for them. So much love. Your boys will benefit in immeasurable ways by watching how you care for an older generation. We recently went through a great deal of this with Ryan’s granny, so if you need any thoughts/input on care facilities in our area, let me know. (Granny lived at Carriage Inn for a number of years, and then over at Colonial Oaks for her last four months of life.)

  5. Oh Bobbie that is tough. My grandmother definitely gets snippy on occasion when she is feeling a loss of control. I am trying to remember always where it comes from and not to take it personally. I remember one night at dinner when she couldn’t hear my conversation with the health aide and I had to help her pay the bill with her credit card, I asked her if she needed to stop in the ladies room before we went home. She lashed out and scolded me like a child. She’s a prideful woman alright…but then so am I sometimes. 

  6. Oh Bobbie that is tough. My grandmother definitely gets snippy on occasion when she is feeling a loss of control. I am trying to remember always where it comes from and not to take it personally. I remember one night at dinner when she couldn’t hear my conversation with the health aide and I had to help her pay the bill with her credit card, I asked her if she needed to stop in the ladies room before we went home. She lashed out and scolded me like a child. She’s a prideful woman alright…but then so am I sometimes. 

  7. Thanks Sara. I know my kids benefit from knowing their great-grandparents, and my grandparents certainly benefit from knowing my kids. I really would love to hear about your experience with Carriage Inn and Colonial Oaks! Carriage Inn is on my list to check out. 

  8. Thanks Sara. I know my kids benefit from knowing their great-grandparents, and my grandparents certainly benefit from knowing my kids. I really would love to hear about your experience with Carriage Inn and Colonial Oaks! Carriage Inn is on my list to check out. 

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