Incomplete

I wish I knew her name. 

We don’t know if we are going to keep our daughter’s given name or change it yet, it depends on how old she is when she is matched with us. We haven’t thought too much about it except that I pour over the names of other Haitian orphan girls I encounter and see if I like their various names or not. Most are very French sounding, which is nice. I’m partial to names like Brielle or Daniela. We’ll see. I’m just tired of referring to her as “the baby” or “our daughter” in conversation. We’re currently trying to decide which bedroom “the baby” will get. 
We needed two new family photos for our dossier. Here’s one.
For those who have asked, the time frame is still a bit unknown. Part of it depends on the particular orphanage we would like to work with and whether or not they have infant girls available for adoption or how long till some desparate mother or aunt or uncle arrives on their doorstep with a child they cannot care for. I’ve read some of these stories of why the children are left there and they break my heart. So many mothers dying in childbirth at home. So many newborns fed sugar water or damp cookies because their mamas are sick or dead and formula is not an option. The fathers or other family members already have five other kids and can’t feed any of them. It’s the rainy season right now in Haiti and cholera is coming back with a vengeance. It’s treatable but only if they get to a clinic in time and that is often impossible since there aren’t many open now. 
Here’s the other. These photos feel very incomplete.
Ok back to the time frame. The first major step is to finish our homestudy. We have the first of three interviews next weekend and I hope we can get the other two done in May. Then it’s up to our social worker how quickly she writes the report. I’m told that our particular social work is awesome and that if she isn’t working with too many families she can be very quick. But it could take her a couple months. We’ll see. Once that is done it gets sent to our orphanage where they work on getting us a referral. This is a big part of the unknown right now. It could take a month or a year to find out who, specifically, is meant to be our daughter. 
In the meantime we’ll be finishing up more paperwork for our dossier. I’d like that to be done by September but part of that depends on the US government for a form declaring us eligible to adopt and we all know how the federal government can be. Anyway after our referral they take the child’s information and our dossier and start the laborious process of having it approved by Haitian social services. After that we get her passport and visa from US immigration. Generally we’re told to expect 18 months from referral till she can come home, but that seems to vary pretty widely. They are right at this moment restructuring Haitian social services (IBESR) so hopefully it’ll be more efficient in the future. We hope…and pray. 
We pray a lot these days. 

Author: Sarah

Mom of three. Triathlete.

10 thoughts on “Incomplete”

  3. Oh Jamie I have followed your story VERY closely. You guys are part of the reason we are going to Haiti. Would love to get together with you sometime, maybe when I’m in Austin getting our papers authenticated 🙂

  4. Oh Jamie I have followed your story VERY closely. You guys are part of the reason we are going to Haiti. Would love to get together with you sometime, maybe when I’m in Austin getting our papers authenticated 🙂

  5. NEEDS MOAR GROTTO!

    In all seriousness, best of luck with all this going forward. We don’t have anybody in our network who has gone the adoption route, so you posting these is extra interesting. As always, thanks for sharing. I’ll be looking forward to a post on some of what Alex & Nathan are thinking and what all you’re sharing & discussing with them. 

  6. NEEDS MOAR GROTTO!

    In all seriousness, best of luck with all this going forward. We don’t have anybody in our network who has gone the adoption route, so you posting these is extra interesting. As always, thanks for sharing. I’ll be looking forward to a post on some of what Alex & Nathan are thinking and what all you’re sharing & discussing with them. 

  7. haha! I was just thinking about the grotto this morning on my run. There were like five turtles out sunning themselves by it. 

    Well I will try to post as much adoption info as I think about it as possible. I’m surrounded by adoptive families and read a ton of those blogs so I often take for granted how little of the details other people know…and that they might want to know! 

    Good thought on sharing what the boys are thinking…I’ll do that soon! 

  8. haha! I was just thinking about the grotto this morning on my run. There were like five turtles out sunning themselves by it. 

    Well I will try to post as much adoption info as I think about it as possible. I’m surrounded by adoptive families and read a ton of those blogs so I often take for granted how little of the details other people know…and that they might want to know! 

    Good thought on sharing what the boys are thinking…I’ll do that soon! 

  9. Its amazing how once you make the decision to add a child to your life, your picture of your family changes so quickly and completely. Good luck for a smooth process, and for your daughter to be home with you soon.

  10. Its amazing how once you make the decision to add a child to your life, your picture of your family changes so quickly and completely. Good luck for a smooth process, and for your daughter to be home with you soon.

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