Restless

For the past several days…in fact perhaps the past several weeks…words have escaped me. Maybe it’s because of all the sickness in my house and especially in my own body. Perhaps that is what broke my rhythm, interrupted my streak of productive, inspired creativity. Something certainly did, because I think and think and feel but nothing coherent or worth saying out loud or on paper seems to come out. I’ve been consuming like crazy, reading, observing and inhaling music and words like they are oxygen and I’m desperately trying to breathe. But I prefer to be producing, not consuming. And lately I haven’t produced anything I’d consider meaningful.

The only progress I feel like I’ve made at all in the past few weeks is in my running. Noticeable change keeps happening when I set out on a run, despite all my obstacles like knee injuries and a body wrecked by the flu. Having a goal and a plan with extremely measurable steps and meeting little goals like running a block further or a few minutes longer than last time…it’s life-changing. It’s addicting, I’ll tell you. Every time I lace up my sneakers I’m nervous, afraid I won’t be able to keep going as long as the next step in my program requires. But I don’t let that fear stop me and I hit the pavement, reminding myself as I go that this training is for the goal of finishing the Run 4 The Children, and this whole project is for God’s glory and not my own. It’s amazing what that does for my mental and physical stamina.

You can’t let fear stop you from doing things that could have huge positive outcomes. Growth comes in large measure when you force yourself to do what makes you terribly uncomfortable.

That’s all I got for today.

Author: Sarah

Mom of three. Triathlete. View all posts by Sarah