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| The mall play area on a calmer day, 3 years ago. |
What started as a quick trip to the mall yesterday ended up in a surge of adrenaline through me I hadn’t felt in a very long time. I learned a thing or two about “mama bear” instincts too, both mine and those of other crazy people.
It all started when Nathan was invited to a friend’s for a playdate so I decided to take Alex to the play area inside the Katy Mills Mall. It had been awhile since he’d played there because his brother was well over the allowed height to play so I didn’t even bother with it on our regular mall visits. I needed to exchange a couple things at Old Navy so I figured this would kill two birds with one stone.
I forgot how insanely crowded the mall gets on weekends. I’m used to hopping over there on weekday mornings since it’s only a couple miles away, but as an outlet mall it’s a huge draw from the entire city. Alex and I did a quick exchange at Old Navy and then I found a pile of bargains at the Children’s Place before we walked the length of the mall to the playground. He was tired but kept up well as we hurried, dodging slow moving shoppers, weaving in and around strollers and big families. I knew the play area would be packed, but I had promised him so even if we only stayed five minutes I was keeping my promise.
There were so many people and children than I had to wait a couple minutes to find a seat on a bench in the back. I took Alex’s shoes off, warned him it wouldn’t be long and pulled out my phone to check Twitter. There were plenty of kids there who I knew were much to old to be playing, but it didn’t bother me really. I noticed one tween girl inside a square structure right in front of me but she didn’t seem to be bothering anybody.
Well she must’ve done something…pushed another smaller child maybe? I didn’t see that but all of the sudden a mom and a dad jumped up and ran over to her with voices raised and scolding. I think I heard one of them say “Don’t do that! I saw what you did!” and I assumed they where her parents. Keep in mind there was a foam play wall between them and the tween girl, but they were leaning over it towards her.
Boy was I wrong because in a flash I saw a man who had to be 6’3″ and 300 lbs stand up, take two steps up behind them and grab each of them at the same time by the shoulders with his massive hands. He flung each of them back away from the wall and proceeded to scream at them in a booming voice, “Hey! Don’t you dare talk to my daughter like that!” at which point the other two parents in furious voices said something about what the girl had done. The gigantic man yelled, “I don’t care what she did you NEVER approach a child like that! Do you understand English? Do you speak English? Approach! Approach! You never approach another child, you go to the parents!”
All this happened literally two feet in front of where I was sitting, and my heart started racing. I thought two seconds about staying but I was afraid for my safety and didn’t want my kid to witness a fist-fight so I stood up, grabbed my shopping bag and Alex’s shoes and walked briskly away, looking everywhere in the crowd for my child. I saw other parents start to stand up and stare and even move towards the continued shouting behind me, but I scooped up Alex and pushed my way through the bodies crowding the playground entrance. I looked everywhere but security was, of course, nowhere to be found. I got far enough away that Alex couldn’t see or hear the fight before I sat down to put his shoes back on and explain to my tearful child why we couldn’t stay and play. At this point I was just shaking like a leaf as I told him “the grown ups aren’t behaving…they are acting badly so we have to go.”
Understatement of the century.
I walked as quickly as I could with a tired three year old in tow towards down the very long mall till I finally saw two security guards laughing and chatting with a girl manning a candy cart. I stopped and explained that there had just been a big fight at the playground, between parents, and that they should go check it out. The one guy who looked about 70 years old did not register what I was saying, so I repeated myself, frantically pointing back where I’d come from. I didn’t stick around to see what happened next, I went home and let the adrenaline drain from my tense body.
I get that all three parents were simply being protective of their children, but all three of them did exactly the wrong thing. Especially the dad who chose to get physical and shove the other parents…one of which was a woman…both of which were half his size.
Can you imagine? Have you ever seen something like that?
Yep. I spotted a group of teenagers in one of these play grounds one weekend without any parents. And let them be until they got dangerous with the little guys and then very quietly gave the choice to leave before I called security. Right, wrong? Don’t know.
Yep. I spotted a group of teenagers in one of these play grounds one weekend without any parents. And let them be until they got dangerous with the little guys and then very quietly gave the choice to leave before I called security. Right, wrong? Don’t know.
Yep. I spotted a group of teenagers in one of these play grounds one weekend without any parents. And let them be until they got dangerous with the little guys and then very quietly gave the choice to leave before I called security. Right, wrong? Don’t know.
Yep, TWICE, except it was Husband involved in the issue. First, a kid was throwing sand at other kids, no one was disciplining him, other kids were crying, the kid did it again and Husband asked the kid to stop. Kid ran to his dad (who was HUGE) and came barreling over to confront Husband. In the end it was fine, but… a little tense there for a minute.
Other time was right before our wedding, actually. We were at the vet with a sick bird in a cage at 8pm at night and this guy’s dog was out of control and wagging his huge tail into the bird’s cage, rattling it. The guy was not paying attention, acting like a douchebag, loud, etc., Husband asked the guy to move his dog for the sake of the bird. Dude’s reaction was, “DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?!” Luckily the staff was all over it and brought the guy back – and we had a black eye-free wedding. 🙂
Yep, TWICE, except it was Husband involved in the issue. First, a kid was throwing sand at other kids, no one was disciplining him, other kids were crying, the kid did it again and Husband asked the kid to stop. Kid ran to his dad (who was HUGE) and came barreling over to confront Husband. In the end it was fine, but… a little tense there for a minute.
Other time was right before our wedding, actually. We were at the vet with a sick bird in a cage at 8pm at night and this guy’s dog was out of control and wagging his huge tail into the bird’s cage, rattling it. The guy was not paying attention, acting like a douchebag, loud, etc., Husband asked the guy to move his dog for the sake of the bird. Dude’s reaction was, “DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?!” Luckily the staff was all over it and brought the guy back – and we had a black eye-free wedding. 🙂
Yep, TWICE, except it was Husband involved in the issue. First, a kid was throwing sand at other kids, no one was disciplining him, other kids were crying, the kid did it again and Husband asked the kid to stop. Kid ran to his dad (who was HUGE) and came barreling over to confront Husband. In the end it was fine, but… a little tense there for a minute.
Other time was right before our wedding, actually. We were at the vet with a sick bird in a cage at 8pm at night and this guy’s dog was out of control and wagging his huge tail into the bird’s cage, rattling it. The guy was not paying attention, acting like a douchebag, loud, etc., Husband asked the guy to move his dog for the sake of the bird. Dude’s reaction was, “DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?!” Luckily the staff was all over it and brought the guy back – and we had a black eye-free wedding. 🙂
Yeah I have no problem confronting another child politely and with a reasonable distance when they are causing problems and no parents is to be found.
Yeah I have no problem confronting another child politely and with a reasonable distance when they are causing problems and no parents is to be found.
Yeah I have no problem confronting another child politely and with a reasonable distance when they are causing problems and no parents is to be found.
Good for Terry. Yeah finding the parent of that girl first would have been nearly impossible. Screaming at her definitely wasn’t a good idea though.
Good for Terry. Yeah finding the parent of that girl first would have been nearly impossible. Screaming at her definitely wasn’t a good idea though.
Good for Terry. Yeah finding the parent of that girl first would have been nearly impossible. Screaming at her definitely wasn’t a good idea though.
Right. Quietly giving them the choice is absolutely the right thing to do.
Right. Quietly giving them the choice is absolutely the right thing to do.
Totally agree with you. Yeah I was fine a little later, I even went back to the mall, sans kids, the next day and it was nowhere near as crowded!
Totally agree with you. Yeah I was fine a little later, I even went back to the mall, sans kids, the next day and it was nowhere near as crowded!
I would say it would be very difficult to approach parents first in that situation, as you don’t know which kids belong with which parents. That said…screaming at her was not a good idea either.
We did have a situation at a McDonald’s play area where there were some middle-school kids (too old for the structure) playing roughly. There were no parents with them, and they came barreling through a tube so fast that it scared Lydia into hysterics. The manager did nothing. One of the students had been in my husband’s classroom briefly this past year, and tried buddying up to Terry. I was calming Lydia down, while Terry informed him that if they stuck around, they’d have to deal with me. They left. 😉
I would say it would be very difficult to approach parents first in that situation, as you don’t know which kids belong with which parents. That said…screaming at her was not a good idea either.
We did have a situation at a McDonald’s play area where there were some middle-school kids (too old for the structure) playing roughly. There were no parents with them, and they came barreling through a tube so fast that it scared Lydia into hysterics. The manager did nothing. One of the students had been in my husband’s classroom briefly this past year, and tried buddying up to Terry. I was calming Lydia down, while Terry informed him that if they stuck around, they’d have to deal with me. They left. 😉
Funny you should mention that. We went to the movies at Katy Mills on Sunday and the movie got out at 6:20ish, and we walked by that play area and there was a security guard with 2 little kids that were apparently LEFT in the play area alone since the play area closes at 6 on Sundays and the guard was trying to find out what to do with the kids. They were probably around 7 years old or younger!!!!
I tend to work a passive aggressive angle. If we are at a play area and any kids, big or little, are not playing nice, I will loudly say, “Deacon (my son), remember we do not hit or use our hands on our friends . If that friend is not playing nicely then stay away from him!” No one can get mad at me for talking to my own kid. (he usually is not the offender, so to him it is just a reminder).
If the parent is there, my loud voice probably drew some attention to the problem at hand. If the parent isn’t there, the kid probably understood that I was talking about him and starts to behave.
Number one, I wouldn’t even go into a play area that was that crowded. Yeek!
I agree that there’s nothing wrong with politely correcting another child. But I think I would have asked the girl, “Honey, where are your parents?” then approached the parents if the situation warranted. You don’t ever yell at a child or lean close to them….weird.
But absolutely you don’t put your hands on someone and move them unless there is a real, physical danger. I can’t even imagine doing either of those things. It’s good for us to be exposed, occasionally, to people like that though. It reminds us all that we are the same but for the grace of God.
I hope you were able to settle down by the evening. It is really hard to come down from that kind of mess. Thanks for sharing. Lisa~
Wow, that’s insane…leaving your kids all alone on the playground? And I love your passive aggressive angle….I’ve been known to do something very similar.